These are not limited to, "So... who let you out, and are you on some kind of behaviour-modifying medication?" "Was that you i saw on I-93 with the four horsemen of the Apocalypse?" or sometimes, "Hey, are you crazy or somethin'?" And let's not forget the ever-popular, "Will you please stop hitting me with that brick and pay attention?"
Since some questions seem to come up often (hence the "Frequently Asked" portion of the title) i thought i might try to answer a few. So here, in no particular order, are the questions. The twins themselves had something to say about a few, and i've included those answers where they were legal and unlikely to alert the Secret Service.
You know that "twins," implies two, and that three twins is referred to as "triplets," right?
Yes. We know this. However, we've been informed by HR that the job title does not change just because there's more than one person hired. Specifically, there was an Evil twin and a Good twin, then an Evil twin and a Wicked twin, and then the Good twin rejoined the group, and eventually all this will be posted in the archives and you can get off our back.
Don't you realise that the pronoun "i" should be capitalised?
Yes. But frankly, it seems unfair. When we start capitalising "you," "me," "he," "she," and the like, then i will begin capitalising, "i."
So, are they just alcoholics, or what?
No. They are, in fact, fictional characters. Which gives them considerably more leeway- and hepatic fortitude- than you've got.
What the hell are you doing writing humour, anyway?
I'm not just a horror -or humour- writer. It just sort of happened. The whole concept came out of a joke i made to a former flatmate, and the whole thing just kind of... escalated... from there.
Are there any plans to do a cartoon?
No. It's in this medium because i like this medium. Don't think of it as, "more reading," think of it as, "helping to keep literacy levels up."
Does solemndragon have a day job?
Absolutely.
Will you tell us what it is?
No. Absolutely not. That's what makes this a hobby. I don't do this at my day job, and i won't bring my day job here.
What's your take on copyright?
Don't steal my stuff. Don't change my stuff. I advise you to check with me before using it on things without my permission, because Evil is on my legal team.
Mr. Nickles the monkey wants to know if you'll be his mommy.
Damn it, bro, will you stop writing in with that? No! When Mr. Nickles learns to drive a getaway car PROPERLY, without crashing into three police cruisers, a mailbox, and a bingo parlour, Mr. Nickels will be allowed on our little 'family picnics,' again. Until then, he has to finish his community service like a good little monkey, and stop trying to sell Aunt Trudy's ashes to the Gypsies. Bad monkey! Stop selling Aunt Trudy's remains!!
Do you have MPD or Dissociative disorders? Are your 'twins' really your 'alters'?
Hmmmm, let me think about that. No. Not even a little. They would be fiction, and when i stop being interested, i'll go write something else. But it's nice of you to ask, and we try to stay compassionate to the disorders of others. With that in mind, i encourage you to buy a button and a loyalty bear for each of your personalities, just so there's no jealousy involved.
What can you tell us about your life?
Very little; i once saw myself commit a horrible deed and am now in the witness protection program, unable to find out any details about my whereabouts, current name, or lifestyle. I'm not Bobbin Threadbare, and you are NOT my mother. Beyond that, i'd say we're on our own.
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