Evil: So, along the ramparts i want- Hey!

(Wicked bites the head off of a marshmallow chick)

Good: (looking up from her notes) What?

Evil: She's eating my archers!

Good: Oh, dear. (To Wicked) It's not your turn.

Wicked: But they're so sweet and sugar-crunchy!

Evil: Fine. I'll use Oreos for the archers.

Good: (helpfully) I like Oreos.

Evil: Argh!

Good: No, archers.

Evil: You're not helping.

Good: I'm the GM, i'm not supposed to help.

Wicked: I'm bringing in the bunnies.

Evil: Bunnies? (Wicked cheerfully lines up the bunny peeps along one side of the mat. Mr. Henries promptly leans forward and bites the head off of one.)

Wicked: You promised to only eat the casualties!

Evil: (chuckling) Oh, i'd call that a casualty.

Good: So are the bunnies going to be-

Wicked: Undead. (Looking sadly at the headless bunny)

Evil: Undead what?

Wicked: Undead... BUNNIES.

Evil: My orcs are supposed to be afraid of undead bunnies?

Wicked: If you saw a horde of undead rabbits rushing your way, that wouldn't unbalance you just a bit? (she grins)

Evil: This is the weirdest Easter campaign ever.

Good: Weirder than last year's DC Jesus Werewolf session?

Evil: This is the SECOND weirdest campaign ever. And there's a reason i refused to join if Wicked got to be GM again.

Wicked: "Acts of infernal Congress," indeed!

Good: Will somebody line up some armies already?

Evil: Fine. I'm claiming her duckies. In the name of Evil.

Wicked: You can't! They're mine!

Evil: Wickedness ALWAYS leads to evil.

Wicked: (to Good) Help!

Good: (Through a mouthful of marshmallow) "Rock falls, crushing entire party."

Evil: There's no joke like an old joke.

Wicked: You would know.

Good: Ouch!

Evil: That's it. Rabbit Massacre! (She gets out her lighter, which Good deftly removes from her possession.) Hey!

Good: I claim this lighter in the name of Fire Safety.

Wicked: I want my ducks back!

Good: Eve, give her the ducks back.

Evil: (grumbling) Fine. But the fortress shall fall before the weight of my mighty- (she checks the milk crate beside her.) Pretend these skittles are my orcs.

Good: Those aren't vegetarian.

Evil: Good. Neither are my orcs. (Good reaches down and takes some of the skittles) Hey!

Good: (through her full mouth) Windsthorm. You losth sheveral orcs.

(Wicked cheers)

Evil: Where are all the models, anyway?

Good: Wicked used them in exhibit A of her court case.

Evil: Hmph. Three says of court over a twenty dollar parking ticket.

Wicked: It's the principle of the thing!

Good: Justified rebellion against wrongful punishment?

Wicked: No, tying up the system and causing them exorbitant losses in revenge over a small slight.

Good: You know, i'm not a big fan of you playing for both sides.

Evil: Would you rather she played for neither?

Good: That's a difficult question.

Wicked: I HAVE to be chaotic neutral?

Evil: What would Jesus play?

Good: He'd be good. Order or Chaotic?

Wicked: Jesus was a GM.

Good: I'm not so sure about that.

Evil: He'd be order- render unto Caesar, and all that.

Good: Yeah, but there's that whole undead thing.

Wicked: Zombie Jesus for the hometeam!

Good: You're not Christian.

Wicked: Hello!? ZOMBIE.

Good: Oh. Right. But- an undead paladin?

Wicked: Well, stranger things have happened.

Evil: Like when?

Wicked: Last Tuesday? The leprechauns? In the sewer? (Mr. Henries, unnoticed, continues eating the armies off the mat.)

Good: Yeah, everyone THINKS they make great pets, but they get big, and -

Wicked: Flush!

Evil: And then it becomes a job for the sewer department, unless they end up in your bathroom.

Good: All right, so we've established that an undead paladin would not be beyond all possibility, IF he had a very lenient GM.

Wicked: Come on, he was the GM's SON.

Evil: Nepotism for the win!

Wicked: My bunnies want to be paladins!

Evil: What are the checkers, again?

Wicked: I don't remember. the opposite of skittles.

Good: (Surveying the mostly-eaten battleground) Camel chow?

Wicked: Mr. Henries! You ate my army!

Evil: Ha! She dumps the rest of the bag of skittles on the mat.) Opportunity knocks!

Good: That's it. Who's up for Apostles monopoly?

Evil: Can i be satan?

Good: Of course! But your hotels have to STAY hotels, this time, and no more "Get out of purgatory free" due to demonic loyalty.

(Mr. Henries finishes off the orc army, and starts in on the last of the undead rabbits)

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