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Valentine's Day, 2010: Once again, the world descends into a mania of chocolate fueled diamond rage. Beautiful, fragile living flowers all over the world are mown down by the heavy hands of those selling them as sacrificial offerings, a phytogenic bloodbath repeated year after year. Individuals, taught to mourn their independence and isolation, weep over their supposed desoaltion, as couples everywhere rejoice in their codependency.
I'm sorry, folks, but the zombies have won. Enjoy your paper hearts and murdered flowers, take energy from your chocolates and candies, and take cover as soon as you can. All over the world, the message has been received and accepted: CONSUMECONSUMECONSUME.
First they will come for your flowers, and then for the earth's rich minerals.
It's all a warm-up, folks. Brains really are the most attractive. NO ONE WAS KIDDING. They want someone who makes them laugh... but they'll settle for your nice, warm brains....
Here's the Valentine 2010 comic, to keep you entertained in the bunker!
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